A Year On....

Dear Rolo,

It’s been a year my old friend.

I think we both knew that morning that’s we’d reached the end of our journey together. I don’t know why it was important for you to wear a clean coat for that final outing, but it was. We said goodbye to all of your favourite places in the garden - you always loved being carried like a baby. And then to the Vets, wrapped in the blanket we all knitted for your arrival in our family, as a puppy. I held you in my arms, we told you we loved you, stroked your ears, and felt you softly pass. It was beautiful in its own way. It’s how I’d like to go one day: gently, surrounded by love. We brought you home and placed you in your bed so Teddy could say goodbye. We all sat quietly in the kitchen. He knew. Then we took you to Peaceways. The man there was lovely. He had Borders himself and he said he’d look after you. I believed him. We left you in the chapel of rest. Our final goodbye.

I grieved more for you than I have for some people. I haven’t cried that much since I was a child, but I make no apology. I was saying goodbye to your constant, naughty, joyful, carefree presence but also to the sixteen years you represented. The children grown and gone, the small hands in mine, the simple, uncomplicated love. I made a monument to you in the garden with a plaque. Never knowingly well-behaved. Dead but no saint, true to your memory. I chose the clematis carefully, flowering from November when you were born to February when you died, white on the outside, but cheeky, rampant red freckles on the inside. Teddy has never peed on it, out of respect.

A year on and I still think about you often. You are the benchmark for any Teddy misbehavior, but you’ve got no competition - he’s a very different dog. We remember you with a wry smile. You were funny, naughty, charming, greedy, child-loving, unafraid, and you lived life joyously, to the full, to the end. I will try to do the same. Thank you for being our dog. Thank you for being our children’s beloved pet. Thank you for teaching ‘Him Indoors’ to love dogs. Thank you for being...well..you! And thank you for letting Teddy into our lives. He loved you too and has mourned you in his own way. One dog never replaces another, but he fills our life with his own personality.

I will hold your memory close for the rest of my days, until we meet again my old friend. You were and will always be, our last and much loved Rolo.

Run free sweetheart.

Love 'Her Indoors'