Saturday, 9 January 2016

January Blues

Now I'm a 'glass half full' kind of dog, but even I've been finding the persistent deluge of the wet stuff dampening to my normally buoyant spirits. Take our morning walk, the actual playing field is too qwagy to access without a serious risk of getting stuck in the mud so we have to restrict ourselves to the path. Walking along the main road runs the risk of being drenched by a sheet of water sent up by vehicles driving too close to the water filled gullies. 'Her Indoors' can't decide whether this is due to a lack of consideration or a deliberate 'let's see how many pedestrians we can drown' policy on behalf of bored or malicious drivers. Either way, it has an adverse effect on her choice of adjectives, although it has improved the speed of her reactions in jumping onto the verge, so it's not all bad.

The negative effects of the weather aren't restricted to the surrounding roads; the back garden isn't fairing too well either. We've acquired an impromptu water feature in the middle of the lawn which 'Her Indoors' has utilised to give the bathroom rubber duckies a taste of the wild. She used to do this when the juniors were little, for a bit of fun, but one time she didn't remove them quickly enough after the water had receded. Of course it wasn't my fault, but one of the duckies met an unfortunate, chewed demise..

Anyway, to add further misery, the attempts at January abstinence in compensation for the previous month of over-indulgence are being given an additional piquancy by the media telling everyone what they can and can't eat and drink.  'Her Indoors' has taken to shouting back at the radio and television but I don't think they're listening.

As far as I can work out from all the advice, the following are true:

  • A modest consumption of red wine is good for you.  It helps prevent respiratory disease, contains antioxidants, stops you getting colds and can help prevent Herpes and Alzheimer's / All alcohol is poison, increases your chance of getting cancer and you shouldn't touch a drop unless you have a premature death wish.
  • A few squares of chocolate are good for you and can help your heart, circulation and brain / Sugar is the new opiate of the masses, rots your teeth and overloads the liver.  It should be taxed to the hilt to prevent consumption by people who just don't know what's good for them.
  • Fruit juice contains vitamin C and counts as one of your five-a-day / Fruit juice is as bad for you as Coca Cola and has been banned in some primary schools.
  • People who eat lean red meat get more protein, zinc, potassium and B vitamins than people that don't /Eating red meat significantly increases you chances of heart disease and cancer.  If you regularly eat processed meat you better make your will immediately, you won't last long.
I could go on indefinitely but I think you'll see what I mean.  'Her Indoors' old Nan used to have two sayings that she applied to her diet. 'A little bit of what you fancy does you good' and 'Moderation in all things'.  I think that is the mantra that 'Her Indoors' has grown up subscribing to.

However, speaking for myself, I don't do moderation in anything, and I prefer a lot of what I fancy, but I'm hoping that if 'Him Indoors' is reducing his alcohol consumption, there will be more beer left in the bottom of the bottle for me.  The average life expectancy for Border Terrier is between 12-15 years, I'm in the danger zone anyway, so what the heck!  I know I'm just a dog of limited understanding but I reckon that cutting out all that stuff won't make you live longer, it'll just feel like it....! We're all mortal anyway, and I hate to say it (in a Scottish accent) but, ultimately, we're all doomed!

Happy New Year!



Our new water feature complete with rubber duckie...
This stream is normally just a trickle...
Wearing my high vis coat so that motorists can see where to target the sheet of water


I'm sure this has got to be good for me...





4 comments:

  1. love your Blog....Cure for Jan blues!

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  2. Yes Mr Rolo...I think we follow the moderation in all things diet here...except for terriers...we have an excess of those...Clapton

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  3. Yep none of us is gettin out alive. Enjoy your beer.

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