Until this morning that is. I was awoken at an ungodly hour from my slumbers by 'Him Indoors' shouting at the radio. As neither England or Arsenal were playing football at that time of the day, or was it night, I started to pay attention, and I've a feeling that I've missed a trick. I should have stood for the presidency of the United States of America.
Whilst I don't know much about world affairs, that doesn't seem to matter too much, and like all dogs, I tend to be at the centre of my own universe anyway so I'd be okay on that score. I'm not really prejudiced, unless you're a bunny of course, although I don't generally like Spaniels that much. They've got woosy ears that tend to pong a bit. I'm not sure that amounts to discrimination though as I do like some, I just don't choose to share my criteria as it keeps 'Them Indoors' on their toes. I also don't have a problem with female Border Terriers, and as I sacrificed a couple of small parts of my anatomy at a young age, I don't really have any sexual indiscretions worth talking about. I don't think that little business with the floor length curtains or 'Him Indoors' leg really counts for much in the grand scheme of things. I might have left a few dodgy pee-mails in my time, but nothing that would compromise national security and if the FBI want to take a sniff, that's fine with me. I also get on fine with most other dogs, whatever their size, provided they respect the world order with me at the top of it, so that'd be okay too.
Maybe the deciding factor might be that I haven't got a comb-over, but I'm sure 'Her Indoors' could manage something with a brush given half a chance. Anyway, I'm a genuine dog of the people with working origins and 1111 followers on Twitter. What more is needed? Oh and I'm often barking, which has got to help. What do you reckon to my chances...?