Get the beers in!

As some of you know, my health isn't what it it was and, in the last couple of weeks I've been losing weight at a rather alarming rate. I was 7.5 kg originally, but I quickly slipped to 6.9 about ten days ago and was only 6.2kg today. I was thinking of taking up a career as a model but I'm not sure I'd do 'Her Indoors' home knits justice! Still, I made sure I didn't sit still on the scales, as usual, to try and bury the bad news, but eventually, they managed to get an accurate reading.
          What followed was a thorough examination - nice, but she could have warmed her stethoscope up a bit, we seniors feel the cold, and a serious chat. Whilst they were talking, and because the treats were, quite frankly, a bit slow in appearing, I began to chew my way through the plastic jar lid in order to help myself, which caused some amusement. Apparently, I've not got one catastrophic thing wrong with me, but my senior systems are beginning to fail me, and my major functions are not doing what they should. If nature was left to take its course, I'd continue to diminish until complete organ failure, which doesn't sound like a good option to me. The other is that they gently help me over the rainbow bridge, at a time and date of my choosing, which, considering the dearth of better alternatives, is the one we've gone for. I'm not in any particular pain or distress, so I've been given a final week and a chance to put my affairs in order and say my goodbyes, but I'm definitely on my way.
          Now, my Pals, there are lots of tragedies in this world, but I'm not one of them. I'm a very senior small dog who has led the best life with great people. I've done all sorts of things that most furs don't get to do, and it's fair to say that I've lived life full-on and disgracefully. 'Her Indoors' has often commented that it's a miracle I've lasted as long as I have. And I'm going to exit on my own terms with my loved ones around me - what more could any dog want? My final week is going to be full of loving, ear rubs, choice noms and even a beer or two. I'll have long walks in my buggy and snooze in the sun if there is any. So please, don't be sad for me, be happy for a life well-lived.
          'Them Indoors' will naturally be devastated, but I've spent my final year training up Teds and he's developed some pleasing traits of his own so I know they'll be well cared for. I've always been a bit of a trial blazer so I'm blazing one now for a happy death. So put the beers in the fridge Marley, and lock up the bunnies. Apparently, when you go over the bridge you revert to your prime, so believe me when I say this, you really don't know what is coming your way!!