Sunday, 22 December 2013

My Christmas Message

Dear Father Christmas,

Just to let you know that I'm ready with my Christmas stocking. Some baking is threatened anytime now, so you should be okay for a mince pie, provided it doesn't drop on the floor first.  You might even get a sniff of the cooking sherry if we can prise it away from 'Her Indoors'. Can you please make sure your reindeer stay on the roof as I'm a bit funny about other animals on my patch. And I suggest you're careful about the ridge tiles as 'Them Indoors' had them fixed a while ago. You don't want to do anything that results in 'Him Indoors' having to spend money, if you know what's good for you.

My Christmas requests are pretty modest - I'm not really a materialistic kind of dog. A new toy or two and some fancy edibles would be good, but I'm pretty well provided for in the coat and cushion department. 'Her Indoors' would like me to have a new mat to go under my food bowl, as I can be a bit messy apparently, but to be honest, I can take or leave that idea. Food doesn't linger long, on the floor or anywhere else, and I don't dribble, at least not yet, but I'm not ruling it out in my old age.

I know I haven't always been a good dog. There was that little unpleasantness with the Mallard nesting in the back border in the Spring, but that wasn't really my fault. It was rather a silly place to try and raise a family if you ask me. Then there have been a few incidents with rabbits including the one the other day when 'Junior Her' treated me to an extra walk in the sunshine. It ran out from right under my paws, so what was I supposed to do? They should be impressed that I can still catch them at my age. I would like to issue a blanket apology for things eaten that shouldn't have been, and for my on-going disputes with certain dogs whose names begin with 'M' or 'that Golden Retriever from up the road'. It's not that they're bad dogs, it's just that I don't like them. They don't like me either, so it's all fair and equitable, although I suspect I may be a bit of an 'agent provocateur'.

I would like to wish a very happy Christmas to all my friends and blog readers, whether canine or human. It never ceases to amaze me how many people are interested in the weekly ramblings of an aging Border Terrier, however cute and well informed. Bless you all. I would also like to thank the staff and readers of 'Dogs Monthly' (I'm in there again in January's issue, which is out now) for giving me and 'Her Indoors' an additional opportunity to air our views. 'Her Indoors' is coming on nicely in the writing department - I've taught her all she knows.

Well, I think that's it for now.  I'm off to watch the Strictly final on i-player.  All those sequins and sparkly bits get me in the festive mood. Do you think I'd be in with a chance next year? I'm reasonably famous, and that Ola Jordon is quite small and rather attractive. See what you can do.  After all, Britain is a nation of dog lovers, so I'd be bound to get plenty of votes.

Kindest regards

Rolo the Border Terrier

I managed a quick chew when she wasn't looking.........

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