Saturday, 22 March 2014

People Training

Over the years I've acquired a wealth of experience and I sometimes feel the urge to pass on my knowledge to the younger generation so that they can cut a few corners. One of my areas of expertise is in people training, and I'm wondering if I should hold classes.  Most dogs manage to train their immediate family and I'm no exception with 'Them Indoors', although I think 'Him Indoors' has been a particular achievement, bearing in mind his oft quoted dislike of dogs - unhygienic creatures who share hair, bodily fluids and their unmelodious vocals, whilst also ponging a bit. In spite of this, I've still managed to train him in the regular sharing of snacks when 'Her Indoors' isn't looking; it's a kind of male conspiracy. 'Her Indoors' doesn't stand any nonsense but she has a soft heart which is useful for my purposes. Sometimes, when I've been out in the garden, I forget to bring my ball back into the house with me. When I want to play later, I get quite distressed if I can't find it and 'Her Indoors' has been known to don her coat and wellie boots, in inclement weather, to find my ball for me and ease my distress. How's that for training? 

My greatest achievements however, have involved people outside the family. There's a nice man who walks his dog, Milo, at around the same time of day as I get my regular outing. I knew he had treats as I could smell them and I initially tried directly accessing his pockets which only succeeded in getting me a sharp telling off from 'Her Indoors'. However, I persisted in looking hungry every time I saw him, until his wife was moved by my woeful face and made him give me a treat.  Now, every time I see him, I give him the command, by sitting down to attention, and he comes up with the goodies. He's even learnt to keep his fingers out of the way so I don't have to worry about avoiding them in my rush to get to the edibles. I'm working on getting second helpings, but that's advanced training so takes a bit longer. 

If any young dogs are reading this, and want to know how it's done, I'm happy to tell then for a small fee. It'll save a lot of time working it out for themselves.

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