Running for cover

I've had a rather grim few days. I picked up a stomach bug which decided to manifest itself whilst 'Her Indoors' was at work. She came back to a heavily decorated kitchen floor. She tried not to be cross with me, as it clearly wasn't my fault, but there was barely space for her to step. She had to clear up with kitchen roll, kitchen floor wipes,then wash the floor with a cloth and water in a bucket, followed by a floor steam clean with one of those fancy new floor steamers. Mind you, as she pointed out rather darkly, there was one thing to be thankful for: 'Him Indoors' wasn't around otherwise we'd have both had him to contend with too. As it was it took all my charm to get much in the way of sympathy. 

Unfortunately, in the process, I let slip that I can count. It's usually wise to act dumb and not let on how intelligent we dogs really are. Anyway, after two days of starvation, 'Him Indoors' tentatively gave me my breakfast biscuits but only gave me three instead of my usual five. I was so shocked I couldn't help but communicate this to 'Him Indoors'. He seemed quite surprised, so I've obviously fooled him previously. 'Her Indoors' wasn't surprised at all. She's definately got the measure of me which is a bit worrying.....